Lost and Never Found

A few years ago there was a fad, a pet rock that would bring you luck. You bought it from some character. People mostly treated it as a joke but a few believed in it. I did not.

However, I should not be talking big. I half believe in another weird phenomenon. Perhaps you do too. I am talking about the Sockeater. Mine used to live in the garage behind the washing machine. Every so often he took one of my socks. I have proof. Half a drawer full of single socks. What else could have happened to those socks? They never showed up again.

I say that he used to live behind the washing machine. He has recently moved inside the machine. I know I put three pairs of socks in the drum.  There were none left in the hamper. And yet, only two pairs and one single came out. I practically scraped the drum clean. No sock left. Can you blame me if I believe?

There is another Gremlin out in the garage, right under my toolbox, I believe. He does not take much, and then only small things such is minuscule little nuts that so easily flip from between your fingers. You see it fall, noticing precisely where it came to rest. You bend down to pick it up and it is no longer there. He is so fast, that guy. Trouble is, that was usually the only nut that size you had. So annoying.

Do you have a favorite screwdriver? One that hefts so well and is just the right size for most jobs? You had it for more than fifteen years, the handle was getting a little dirty, to put it mildly. Come some fine Monday morning a few months ago and it was gone.  Sounds familiar? Did you ever find yours again? Of course not. It was consumed, handle and all. That is why some hobbyists lock their tools away every evening.

This brings me back to the pet rock. I must have insulted the Rock family, the Rockies, so to say. Lately I noticed that the layer of expensive white marble chips with which I filled one of my flower beds is getting noticeably thinner and thinner. I do not want to rush to judgement, but Holmes agrees with me: elementary, dear Watson. The pet rocks are seeking revenge!

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