Pardon My French

I often wondered how it is that the French can talk French so fast. The language breaks my tongue even at my slow pace. Here is the answer, maybe: they skip unessential consonants and nouns and call that elision.

Instead of haricots verts, emphasizing the cots and the verts, a Frenchman says arico ver. The former Parisian central market was called Les Halles. When spoken, the name sounds like Laeh All. The pronoun Je is often shortened to J’ and the negative ne becomes n’ and esses are chopped off. The phrase Je ne sais pas becomes jnsaipa. Commdabitudilsnetaitpasouvenudelaffair diersoir. No Frenchman in his right mind would want to spell this out: comme d’habitude il ne s’etait souvenu de l’affaire de hier soire. Takes too long.

The miracle is that they understand each other. I will now set up my metronome and practice a few French phrases at increasing speeds. My French friends will understand me. All others will be impressed by my fluency. I hope they will not ask me what I said because at that speed I cannot even understand myself.

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