The Oldest Profession

There is some   paleo-anthropological evidence, I understand, that early homo sapiens used ochre as face paint a hundred thousand years ago. My guess is that they applied this pigment to ward off predators by making their eyes look scarier. The method is still in use after all these thousands of years, except that the homo sapienses of today prefer black or blue and call it eye shadow. The effect, I am afraid, is still the same.  We are talking here about self-applied or, more often, self-inflicted cosmetics.

There are, of course, other ways to make eyes look scary. The Venetians are good at that. They make face masks that hide all but the pupils behind grotesque elongated noses or in folds of gruesome looking crinkled skin. The effect, of course, is temporary and reversible. Closely related is the practice of theatrical makeup. This is an art form rather than a profession. The more talented practitioners get nominated for Academy Awards.

Some facial modifications are permanent. They are not meant to look scary. Their purpose is to improve a person’s appearance. You begin with crinkled skin and, if successful, you end up with a smooth, more youthful complexion, plumper eyelids, and higher or lower brows, your choice. This is the miracle of plastic surgery. Surgeons, however, including plastic surgeons, are a relatively new profession.

But to come back to eyes, let us go fast backward three thousand years. In a museum in Berlin, my home town, I once, as a schoolboy, saw a bust of the Egyptian queen Nefertete. If one looks closely at her eyes one notices that they have been ever so carefully rimmed in black. Anyone capable of doing precise eye liner jobs so close to the lashes three thousand years ago must have been a professional makeup stylist. To me the bust in the museum suggests that cosmetology has been a human priority for many thousands of years. It still is, judging by the inordinate amount of counter space given to creams, sprays, sticks, tongs, tweezers and brushes, washes, dyes, polishes, polish removers, conditioners, shadows, fragrances and lashes to name a few categories, and not counting the innumerable brands involved —  the Chanels, Balenciagas, Escadas, Bulgaris, Lauders, Guccis, Givenchys, Hermeses, Versaceses and Yves Saint Laurentses of the world —  in any department store you care to mention. My point is, I have a new theory. The oldest profession, I think, really is cosmetology!

Sorry about that. I know it hurts to give up cherished beliefs.

 

©2017 by Herbert H. Hoffman

Picture credit: CNN.com

 

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