We knew Tim and Mattie, both widowed, from way back. The two found each other and promptly moved in together. There was no problem in terms of their compatibility. Far from it. They had the right stuff, so to say. If there was a problem it was that in their combined household they now had more stuff than space.
One of the two dining room tables and six of the twelve chairs, for example, had to go to storage. They made inquiries. The Easystore Inc. facilities were new and clean. The friendly lady in the front office explained the different types of contracts. A notice displayed on the wall precisely defined what this business was about: “Storage of furniture or other unused or seldom used items in a warehouse for an indefinite period of time (Tipp vs. District of Columbia, 102F2nd264)” . No funny business in this establishment, they felt, and rented a standard 5ft x 5ft dead storage bin.
The power of perception makes an empty bin of this size seem large. The power of 2 reduces it to a narrow 25 square feet broom closet. It held the table and five chairs, just barely. The sixth chair would have fit if its legs had been sawed off. It had to go home again, to be used in the bedroom. That was the excuse. An old sleeping bag and the Coleman stove ca.1950 still found some space on the side, and several boxes of papers and old college textbooks as well. A few weeks later it transpired that the old sofa bed, two ottomans, a mattress, and a rug were also excess baggage. No sweat, Mattie said Tim said. They moved everything to a considerably larger 10ft x 10ft bin.
Problem solved, life and happiness were back on track. For a while, anyway. Eventually, though, it dawned on them how Tipp vs. District of Columbia fit into this picture. By using the term “indefinite period of time” that decision clarified that “dead” storage had nothing to do with dead in the sense of gone or finished. There was nothing gone or finished about stored old furniture. The whole adventure was a paradox, or what else would you call it if you can define a storage facility as a thing you use for things you don’t use. If there is some truth in the old saying that you lose it if you don’t use it the danger may be that in time you not only lose “it” but even forget what “it” was in the first place.
All this is actually humorous, the stuff of lighthearted banter. Provided that “it” is not yours and the Easystore Inc. tally of two thousand dollars per year is not addressed to you.
(c)2017 by Herbert H. Hoffman
Picture credit: blogs.discovermagazine.com