On Canine Intelligence

Dogs are smart. Dogs are a nuisance, too. Topsy, our dog, chewed off the spines of all my dictionaries, for example. And he leaves his “output” everywhere and I step in it and my wife gets mad because I drag it all over the house.

Then he died. As I come home from the veterinarian, alone, sobbing, I find still another little heap in the patio. A piece of paper sticks out, like a Chinese fortune cookie. I pull it out. It says: “Eliminatio non est crimen. Just pick it up and toss it, Man! See ya. Topsy”

I DO have the strangest dreams.

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