Tea is a plant and all plants, thanks to the Swedish botanist Carl von Linné, have binomial Latin names. So we are talking about Thea sinensis. But not really. We usually talk only about the leaves. How they are plucked, fermented, and dried. Not even that, actually. We are mostly interested in the drink that results from pouring hot water over those dry leaves. In short, we drink a cup of tea.
Some people drink tea for breakfast. In a Chinese restaurant you might get tea for lunch or dinner. In Great Britain, on cruise ships, and all the finer hotels in the world you have afternoon tea which includes not only tea, the drink, but also cucumber sandwiches. A certain class of people call that high tea. It is usually brought by somebody called James. High tea comes close to being a ceremony or ritual, in addition to being a meal.
Another way of high tea is celebrated in Japan. In the Japanese order of things the preparation and consumption of tea is vaguely connected to Buddhism and yes, the tea may be thin or thick, powdered or leaf, and for all I know, even bag. But to do it right, i.e. with respect, grace, and proper form you may have to go to Tea School and learn from a master and that could take years, no kidding.
Another group of ritual tea drinkers is found in Brasil and Argentina. The “tea” in those parts is called Mate. It is brewed in a gourd which is passed from person to person. One drinks it through a communal silver straw which is also passed around for all to use. Think before you book a vacation in South America. Are you prepared for this? It is considered an insult if you decline the invitation to participate, I think.
You drink English tea out of a cup with a handle, preferably Spode china. Japanese tea is sipped out of ceramic cups without handles. In Mongolia tea is more like a hearty soup, slurped out of bowls. Mongolian tea is very strong. It is churned with a little salt and a generous blob of butter made from the milk of yaks. In the days before refrigeration the butter was often rancid. That was considered normal, however, and then as now a Mongolian man’s proper breakfast is a bowl of butter tea. I understand that these days cheaper teabags and cows’ milk are acceptable. There goes the age of ceremonial living. O tempora, o mores.
And then there is Russian tea. One drinks it out of a glass. Without sugar. Between swallows one takes a spoonful of varenye, or jam. At least according to my father who was born there.
In Germany, my native country, and also in China I understand, people are intrigued by the variety of dried plant leaves other than Thea sinensis that can be made into a drink. Thus the word “tea” became a generic term for any such infusion. As a child I especially liked peppermint tea. Recently I heard that peppermint is bad for the eyes. Maybe that is why I have had to wear glasses since I was ten and why my Latin is so bad because I could not read what Herr Kache wrote on the black board. And why I still hate Herr Kache because he made fun of my Latin in front of the class. And all this because of Mentha piperita. The stuff is dangerous!
Nowadays, ending most of my days as a nervous wreck, I drink a cup of “Relaxing Tea” at bed time. It makes me go to sleep because it contains valerian, passion flower, skullcap, chamomile, and catnip. According to the U.S. Pharmacopoeia, I believe, it should actually kill me. But then the War did not kill me, either. I am lucky, I suppose.
If you are queasy you may not want to read on because we are crossing a line, from tea as an infusion of dried plant matter to tea as an infusion — well let us just say a liquid produced by pouring hot water over the antlers of a dead deer. Antler tea, in other words. I understand that the CDC has issued a warning that this tea may really kill you. It can give you botulism.
Enough of tea suitable for human consumption. But there is more. I have heard of garlic tea. It is supposed to smell so bad that aphids and tomato worms run away and have dinner elsewhere. There is also a liquid we could call “compost” tea. It is made from decomposed plant matter and manure. Let me emphasize that it is delicious and nutritional for anything you plant in your garden. For the rest of us caution is advised: toddlers and dogs also love that sort of stuff.
(c) 2017 by Herbert H. Hoffman
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